Thursday, August 2, 2007

preaching, take three (finale)

As you can see there to the left, the congregation has found various ways of engaging itself during my long-winded homiletic escapades. At least I have given the fifth-graders something to get excited about (from all appearances it is my gargantuan head).

All things considered, I think the last day went well. My parents drove up from Mississippi to see what I looked like doing this church thing. And they didn't run out in shock and horror. In fact, I think they liked being here (and the feeling was mutual). We had a great time laughing with some of the parishioners before we left.

I cannot believe that it is over. As some of you may have guessed from my early posts here, I was a little worried about this summer. I didn't know if I was really cut out for this "pastor" business, and I thought it would be frustrating working in a different tradition. To be perfectly honest, I thought it was going to be a long summer (even if I was working with very good people). It wasn't. It flew by. I was doing something I loved.

What's more, I received incalculable benefits from working in the Methodist Church. No, I'm not going to become Methodist. But working in that setting helped me realize my vocation with fewer distractions. It is clear now that my desire to be a priest is more than simply an attraction to "pretty golden things" (as my friend John says, describing certain monks that he knows); it goes beyond even the draw (valid as it is!) to the catholic liturgy. At the hospital bed, in the living room, in the pulpit, I felt at home. I am not, in a sense, home yet, but at least I have a better idea of where I'm headed.

It is nice to be back in my own apartment, able to cook for myself -- I won't be eating any barbecue for a while!

This last picture is me with a group from United Methodist Women, who gave me a copy of their cookbook.

the united methodist women gave me a cookbook

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

being a scapegoat

I mentioned in my last post that the committee evaluation was almost too positive for my taste, but this morning I got a little taste of something else. I don't think that it would be appropriate here to go into details, but someone unleashed on me a torrent of deconstructive rage. It was a very, very hard conversation. I thought that I was getting along fine with this person, and then in a moment it turns out that there was a lot going on under the surface.

I have gotten so much encouragement this past week that such unfiltered anger came as a shock. It has made it very hard to focus this morning as I try to prepare my final sermon. While I hope that I will be able to discern some areas of truth--places where I can really improve--I also have to remember what was very obvious (and what my supervisor told me): outbursts of this nature arise from a deep set of circumstances that may not have very much to do with me. I am leaving in a few days, and I present an easy target.

You know how we're always encouraged to pray the Psalms? They're part of the Daily Office, but so often I just mumble through them. This morning, though, tears came to my eyes; I had no idea how much I needed to say these verses:

Remember your word to your servant,
because you have given me hope.

This is my comfort in my trouble,
that your promise gives me life.

The proud have derided me cruelly,
but I have not turned from your law.

When I remember your judgments of old,
O LORD, I take great comfort. (Ps 119:49-52)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Youth Revival = AMAZING

The past 7 days have been absolutely amazing.


I'm exhausted, I'm hopeful, I'm elated, I'm surprised, I'm happy, I'm full -- and I feel loved. The way God has shown Himself to me in the past 7 days has been an overwhelming sign of His love for me. Now, I know the theologically correct thing to say is that I feel God's love everyday. And I do! But the past 7 days have been...just...over and above. God never has to bless us richly, and yet He does. I feel so loved and cared for by God. God is soooooo good.

Last Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were the days during which the South Tryon Community Church annual youth revival occurred. I was the primary planner for the youth revival -- and that's probably why I felt extremely nauseous every night just before the services started. I was worried. Was God going to show up? Would my sermons (I preached W, Th, and F) make any sense at all? Would anyone come to the services? Would the kids get anything out of the revival? Would God be pleased?

And on and on and on.

Well, God indeed showed up and left me speechless from awe. Now believe me, I could talk forever about the amazing things that happened at the revival, but I'll just focus on a few ways God showed up and showed out and left me weak from having seen Him at work.

- One teenager gave her life to Christ on Wednesday night. In all honesty, the revival was an evangelistic tool, and watching one of my teens fall into God meant watching the thing happen that we clergy pray for and dream of. Thanks be to God.

- On the Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of revival week, we asked the whole church to fast until a certain time and be in prayer for the revival. Well, on Monday I called one of the teens to ask for some help with some paperwork and she informed me that not only was she fasting, but so were several other teens. Now, this may not seem like a big deal to you, but for the teens to have believed in the revival and in God's power enough to fast (you can't even get adults to fast) -- was breathtaking to me. Breathtaking.


- On Saturday, we held the grand finale of the revival, a 'Block Praise Party,' at the church. We fed between 200 and 250 people. I can still taste all that BBQ and slaw (and I can still here the 4 different Christian Hip Hop groups that performed)! People came from everywhere -- children and adults, males and females. It was so beautiful to have that many people eating, dancing, and laughing on church grounds together. It was such a gift to watch God honoring all the work and planning that had gone into the event. And to top if off, after all the people were gone and I was walking to my car (utterly exhausted) -- a homeless man who generally chills on the steps of the check cashing place next to the church yelled to me, "Thank you for today!" I assume he'd come by and eaten earlier at the block party. Well his thanks to me almost brought me to my knees in tears, because (for reasons I shall never know) God used me as a vessel of His service. God used all of STCC as vessels of His love - and that is an incredible honor and privilege.

GOSH!!! -- there is SO much more I could say!!! So many more stories and joys and rewards. God is amazing. Until now, I had never planned anything on the scale of the youth revival or even thought about having a free cookout for an entire community -- and STCC, as a worship community shouldn't technically have had the resources or the abilities to make something like that happen. But God pulled a loaves-and-fishes miracle -- He miraculously provided ideas and people and dedication and hands and feet and hearts -- and in the midst of what was seemingly 'not enough,' God showed Himself abundant. God is awesome. Thanks be to God.


Monday, July 23, 2007

slowing down


Well, my friends, we're approaching the end. Is that why no one's been posting here, of late? Are we all utterly exhausted?

Actually, I'm not. But there is something odd about being near the end. (And it may be that here we have simply run out of things to say.) My committee evaluation was done last night. It was encouraging--in fact I wish they had been a little more critical. This week, there will be a lot of "lasts." The last time to have lunch at this particular place; the last time to visit someone; the last Wednesday-night service project; the last time to wander the churchyard; and, of course, the last Sunday.

(The picture is from Shiloh's churchyard, where I am prone to wander when I get there early in the morning--a reminder that I'm not alone. And yes, dear Methodist friends, I pray for the dead. You can even find some hints in the Methodist Book of Worship. It's not something I've advertised a lot this summer, because I've noticed that when somebody dies the bulletin always just says "the family and friends of so-and-so." But if we can't pray for people--and with people--dead or alive, I'm not sure what we think we mean when we say we believe in "the communion of saints.")

Monday, July 16, 2007

Falling In Love

Well its happened. I've begun falling in love with South Tryon Community Church.

I'm excited, but at the same time nervous as I dunno what -- because South Tryon is so unlike anything I've ever done, and is so different from anything I've ever felt called to. Its also nerve racking, because South Tryon (surrounded by an indescribable amount of need and pain and seeming hopelessness) is where outcasts -- society's invisible people -- come to worship; and I'm not sure I'm ready to be outcast with them, to worship with them. You see, South Tryon Community Church is smack dab in the middle of three impoverished housing communities that have been all but abandoned by a host of surrounding people and policies. South Tryon is a real, down-to-earth, come-as-you-are, Christ-centered church. And as I continue to work here, I find myself if I'm really willing to be so honest, so humble, so needy, so real -- as to worship with the people of STCC.


This week in particular has been CRAZY, because STCC's annual youth revival starts in appx. 48 hours. Oh, and did I mention that I've planned the revival from the ground up? 'Cause I did. If ever there were a time of honest humility -- its now. I'm anxious, nervous, excited, happy, and hopeful. I can't wait to see how God works through the several Holy Hip Hop artists we've invited to the revival, through the ex-cons we've invited (they'll share their testimonies), and through the musicians and choirs we've invited (they'll be sharing through song). I'm also curious to see what words God speaks through me, as I'll be speaking each night too. I'll keep you posted!


Lastly, falling in love with South Tryon becomes irresistibly easier each day, as
God creates bonds and relationships between me and the people of the community. For example, after spending all day at the church in my office working, I stepped outside just to catch a glimpse of the light of day. I was then greeted by playing children and yells of, "Ms. Chris!!!" I realized, then, that they were excited to see me -- and I was overwhelmingly, almost to the point of tears, excited to see them. This joy -- joy that comes from experiencing God through others -- is such a gift. I also experienced this gift the night we took 45 community youth to the skating rink. As I did all the "chaperone stuff" like tying skate laces, I found myself having more fun than most of the kids. Just honing relationships was enough for me. It felt so good -- so peaceful -- to feel God's presence through the laughs, smiles, and freedom of the ones God has called me to serve.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Happy Fourth of July (four days later)!


So you might be wondering how I made it out to NYC to have my photo taken with the Statue of Liberty...well this is actually the Statue of Liberation Through Christ aka the Lord's Lady Liberty at the World Overcomers Church in Memphis, TN. It is a controversial, 72 foot replica of the original Statue of Liberty with a cross in her right hand and the ten commandments in her left hand. I just thought it might add to the church/flag/nationalism discussion.

If you want to read more about it, check out http://www.thestatueofliberationthroughchrist.org/

preaching, take two


Well, my throat got dry, and apparently I (still) talk to fast, but it seemed to go relatively well. We had three baptisms, and a family join the church, so I preached on that--knowing well how low a lot of people around here view baptism. I don't think it was as good as my first sermon--but then again, it wasn't quite as, well, momentous (my mom said, "You've been waiting your whole life to preach that sermon," which may be truer than I think it is). If you're interested, the text is here.

[Updated with picture. I picked the one with the oddest facial expression.]

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

happy fourth

In wishing you all a happy Independence Day I do not purposefully eclipse the significant Christian holidays which have passed in the last few weeks (the Nativity of S John the Baptist, and SS Peter and Paul, in particular), but I am still happy to be in this country, and I like fireworks, grills, and popular history as much as the next person.

I bring it up here not because I wish to revisit our flag discussion, but because, especially following up on my last, more negative post, I wanted to say something good about Shiloh: last Sunday was blissfully free of patriotic extravaganza. I don't think that "My Country 'tis of Thee" is the best way to conclude a Christian worship service, yet if it weren't for that I think one might have mistaken it for any other summer Sunday--which is exactly right.

In fact, I, good postliberal that I am, was the only one to explicitly talk about Independence Day during the service, and that happened during the children's sermon. I tried to explain to them that true freedom is not being able to do whatever you want (like eating nothing but cake, or taking naps in the middle of Hwy 150), but the freedom to love and serve God.

So happy 4th of July. I hope you all enjoy whatever celebrations are at hand. (I, as I expected, will be joining some parishioners.) Comments are encouraged: what will you be doing for the holiday?

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Hello from Ghana!

I write this blog with much excitement! I arrived in Ghana with Dr. Curtis Freeman, Chad Eggleston, and Mr. and Mrs. Walker to attend the Baptist World Alliance Conference.

The last time I came to Ghana was in 2002 - I had just graduated from High School. It has been five years since I last came home.
On our way to Ghana, we stopped in Nigeria for a transit period of 45mins. As the plane prepared to land in Nigeria, it finally hit me that "I am almost there." I could not help but burst out in tears! Thank God for sunglasses...

A lot has changed since I last arrived as a teenager. Our once quiet neighborhood is now a hub for social mongers! There are more shops and restaurants in our neighborhood now. And oh...noise! But the people have not changed much. I asked my parents if they had grown "short" or I had grown tall! I am still not convinced by the answer I received.

Apparently the biggest change has occurred in myself. The first thing I did after I arrived at home was to go to my church. Can you believe it....no one recognized me!!! I only revealed my identity to one person! To the rest... I just said "hello." My mom thinks that it was too late and dark, so I will give them another chance. But more importantly, I am now able to analyze and give a critical (de)construction of events around me.

I am very very excited and I have a lot of reflections to write after the conference, and pictures to share with those who might be interested. For now, just keep all of us in your prayers. I know that at the end of this trip, I can only look back and repeat the usual, "THE LORD HAS DONE IT AGAIN."

Sunday, July 1, 2007

let's have a round up

A round up is when a blog community asks one another to answer pertinent questions. Here are a few for us to chew on:
(answer them using the comments page)

  1. Can you believe the summer is half over? How have you been spending your time?
  2. Who is invisible where you are...and have you been able to shed some light on them? How'd ya' do it?
  3. What was the funniest thing that happened to you in June (that you can share with Duke Divinity)?
  4. What has been the most moving thing?
  5. The most surprising thing?
  6. What is going to be the hardest part about leaving in a month (if this applies)?
speak up - let' s get some conversation going...otherwise you are all going to get pretty tired of only hearing from the people listed on the left. In the immortal words of Halley Mills "Let's get together yeah, yeah, yeah."
(okay so she didn't write them...but she sang them in the original Parent Trap movie)

interesting ecumenics

There are any number of things that could bother me this summer, but, by the grace of God, most of them don't. That is, serving a church in a different tradition is a high-level exercise in discerning adiaphora in ecclesial practice and doctrine. One learns to love people even if they are silly; and one hopes even to learn how one's own practices may be silly, and how we can all learn to do church better.

While at first I was dismayed that my parish here only celebrates Holy Communion once a month (and yes, I know, that's more than some), I am now beginning to see it as a blessing, for the simple reason that I am not sure if I could go through it again. Leaving aside the liturgical/historical awkwardness of intinction and grape juice, my main issue is simple: crumbs. They're everywhere. It makes me sick to my stomach. I don't care what your view is of what happens during the Eucharistic prayer (or for that matter of the validity of Methodist orders); even the most Zwinglian/modernist/memorialist should be able to see the irreverence of tossing the bread all over the place.

Now, deep breath. The rest of the month is just preaching. Probably no chance for interpellative catechesis. The Lord can handle it. Focus on the task at hand: eating green beans, fried squash, etc. Mmmm.

Friday, June 29, 2007

vbs


Oh mercy - I am behind on my posts and I have not even been to the middle east! I am in the middle of Vacation Bible School. (Sam said something a couple of weeks ago about the vbs hangover - I think I am there. It is not so much margaritaville as it is juice and crackers town). When this weekend is over, I am driving to the home of the Children's Director of our home church with a great big bunch of roses and a gift certificate to somewhere nice where there are no crafts.

This is hard work! It is also really fun. There is this tiny group of kids running and singing and learning about Jesus loving them. And there are sugar cookies. And tomorrow a pool party (if it doesn't rain). This small church thing has a lot going for it. The cookies are homemade - and the wool for the sheep craft they are making is...sheep's wool! I am learning so much. I am so tired. And I am actually, finally, having some fun. This picture is Margaret the music person teaching the kids to sing the "We are Disciples" song. Remember that one? "We are D." -- "We are D.I." -- "We are D.I.S.C.I.P.L.E.S." You get the idea.

The most interesting thing that happened today has two parts. Part one is the fact that when the kids acted out the Good Samaritan story - our Levite had an intern! Part two is the fact that tonight went so much better once I started to act like a pastor (instead of one of the moms helping with vbs). It's not like I was not acting like the one in charge yesterday. It is just that I was not acting like a pastor. I cannot even explain what was different tonight - but it was different. I was different. And the whole night went better and more smoothly. And everybody had a better time - including the intern. Two weeks ago I was counting the days, wishing my summer away. Now I feel like it is going too fast.

Like the song goes: "Jesus is calling us to be his disciples!!! D. I. S.C.I.P.L.E.S!!!"

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

the way time passes

I love old people. I know some might not like that as a category, so, if you prefer: I love senior adults, elderly folks, etc. But I think it ridiculous to think of "old" as a dirty word. Today I met an 81-year-old man (not the oldest in our church by far) who proclaimed that he was old, and thankful for it. Amen, I say, to that.

How can we receive the gifts God gives--age, for example--if we do not acknowledge them? I have been steadily amused at the "young adult" Sunday School class here at the church, where the younger members are in their mid fifties. I am not saying that they ought to "admit" that they are "old," but I do wonder if calling ourselves something that we are not stops us from growing into the blessings of what we are.

Anyway, all I really wanted to say is how much I have enjoyed visiting people--at home and at the hospital. I keep saying that, because it keeps shocking me. I'm not even very good at it. I don't want to do it on many levels. But afterwards I always get the feeling that I have participated in some primal way in my (our?) raison d'ĂȘtre, and so (as usual) a stock phrase: "The Lord is glorious in his saints: Come let us adore him."

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Spontaneous Bible Study

Wow. Everyday here at STCC brings more excitement, more challenges, more lessons, more joy, and more God-filled-ness. God is so good. Sooooo good. I can't say it enough.

This past week brought an interesting challenge my way. I must preface this recollection, however, and say that my prayer (for the past week and a half or so) has been that God would help me really live into the truth that He alone is success. You see, with the HUGE amount of responsibility that I carry here at STCC, with the great amount of need present in the surrounding communities, and with my spirit literally being touched everyday by people's hope, pain, and smiles -- I have found myself wanting to plan this, and start that, and do this, and make that work. I have been ever so tempted to depend on me. I think, "If I can just plan the perfect revival, and make an amazing eye-catching flier, and save every teenager in Charlotte by August 17th -- then God will be pleased."

Hahahahahahaha. Yeh right!

Everyday I learn (anew) that if God doesn't do it -- whatever it is -- it isn't going to get done. God alone is the one who touches hearts, who brings in the people, and who meets the needs. I'm just a vessel -- useless really -- unless God molds me, fills me up, and uses me. I am learning that I can't get caught up in planning (as tempting as it is). I have to get caught up in worshipping.

With that said.....let's get back to last week's interesting challenge.......

I showed up at Bible Study on Thursday evening and I noticed a group of church members standing outside the church. I grabbed my Bible, exited my car, and headed to the church steps. As I walked toward the group, Ms. Ann said to me, "We're locked out." "No problem," I said, and I reached for my church key. But....why were they locked out? Wasn't Pastor Rivens here? And wait -- if Pastor Rivens wasn't there -- who was gonna teach Bible Study? Ms. Maggie then turned to me and said, "Are you teaching Bible Study tonight?" Well trust me -- I had not planned to teach Bible Study. As I pondered her question, I was informed that Pastor Rivens had had a death in his family and had to unexpectedly go out of town. Someone was needed to stand in the gap.

Just then -- my prayer came to mind and the Holy Spirit gently reminded me that God is success -- my plans do not make success. God's Spirit -- spontaneous and beautiful -- is the core of true success.


So -- led only by the Spirit -- I opened the church doors and led Bible Study. With an on-the-spot lesson and an on-the-spot hands-on illustration -- the church members and I excitedly walked through Ephesians 6 and the first two parts of the armor of God (the belt of truth and helmet of salvation). It was AWESOME!!!!!! We walked through the text together, asked questions of each other, and learned some really deep things!!



The experience left me speechless. First, I was speechless because of how God moved in spite of my lack of preparedness. Second, I was left speechless by the way the church members so warmly welcomed me to teach them. Third, I was awed by the way we came together as a community -- plans aside -- and just plain ole studied God's Word.

I told you God was good.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Sound the Alarm!


This past Saturday, I attended the O.K. Program of Indiana’s 3rd Annual Awards Ceremony. O.K., which is an abbreviation for “Our Kids,” is a program that provides mentors for young African American males. The black teenage boys enrolled in the program are provided with mentors. The mentors serve as positive male role models. Mentors build personal relationships with the teenagers and, by means of a reward system, encourage success in school. On Saturday, students who had achieved or maintained good grades, good attendance to O.K. meetings, and had been good citizens received awards. Included in the package was a one-week field trip to Atlanta, GA for all who met the requirements. A handful of Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department (IMPD) cops have partnered with the program to work with these boys. These officers work together with students, police agencies, schools, community members, and faith-based initiatives to provide support to young African American males. As I see it, this type of law enforcement is preventive law enforcement, rather than the usual retributive law enforcement – often disguised in the name of “justice system.”

During the event, the speaker – Sergeant Timothy Knight of the IMPD – cited a few statistics that sent me reeling. According to Sergeant Knight, among young adults ages 18-44 who are incarcerated, over 40 percent are black males. Of course, being the critical student that I am, I knew not to just accept these nauseating statistics at face value. I therefore decided to do my own research on the Bureau of Justice statistics on prison and jail inmates. The latest statistics on prison and jail inmates can be found on the U.S. Department of Justice website (Please see Harrison, Paige M. and Beck, Allen J, Prison and Jail Inmates at Midyear 2005. May 2006). Relevant to our discussion are the rates of imprisonment among young minority men – particularly African Americans. According to Harrison and Beck, “When the total incarceration rates are estimated separately by age group, black males in their twenties and thirties are found to have high rates relative to other groups. Among the nearly 2.2million offenders incarcerated on June 30, 2005, an estimated 548,300 were black males between the ages of 20 and 39” (10). That means – from my own research – that black males within the ages of 20 and 39 make up about 25 percent of the total US prison population. This is different from Sergeant Knight’s conclusion of over 40 percent. The purpose of my research, however, was not to disprove the Sergeant’s findings. His numbers may be more recent than the 2005 statistics from which my conclusion is based (and I have asked Sergeant Knight to point me to his sources).

While I must admit that I breathed a sigh of relief after coming up with numbers far less than what Sergeant Knight had suggested earlier, I must confess that the numbers are still repugnant when one looks at the overall picture. African Americans make up about 12.9% of the US population. Let us assume that black males within the ages of 20 and 39 make up about 40% of the total black population – this is not likely; the percentage should seem far less if we are to consider ages of black males under 20years and above 39yrs. If 40% of the black population is males 20-39yrs, then this age group makes up about 5.16% of the total US population – again, the actual percentage would be far less, but I am considering the best scenario. What these results – arrived at from this crash course in statistics – mean is that about 5.16% of the US population makes up 25% (a solid quarter) of all incarcerations. For those of you who are totally discombobulated by all these mathematical calculations, let me summarize my research findings in words (with no numbers): less than five percent of the total US population accounts for over a quarter of the total number of incarcerations! Again, this is the best scenario; the actual numbers might be worse!

Every compassionate person would agree that there is a calamity. I do not think this is the forum to debate the issue that some people who are in jail truly belong to jail. I have been involved in prison ministry long enough to be able to opine that most people are in jail not because they are inherently evil – we all are; rather, an unhealthy environment is the primary cause of most incarcerations. In other words, most people are in jail because of the kind of communities they were born into. At least part of these young people’s crime is that they happened to be born into or lived in the wrong neighborhood. In my five years of prison ministry, whenever I have the courage to ask a prisoner why he did not choose a better path, I get almost the same answer every time: “There ain’t many other options for us. This is what you grew up with.” By saying this, I am not implying that people should not be held accountable for their actions. But it will serve us a great deal if, rather than be quick to judge and condemn others, we acknowledge that if we had been brought up in a similar environment, we too might become a statistic. On a more theological note, then, I have to remind Christians that our quotidian assertion that “I am blessed,” is quite a presumptuous claim.

With such high rates of black males being locked behind bars, prison life permeates African American community and prevents it from rising. There is a kind of vicious cycle – a whirling vortex that sucks young people in as it spirals downward. There are no male role models for these young people. If you have most of the men in a particular community in jail, then it is natural for young males to view transition from community to prison as the normal process. Sad to say that, in some communities, this may be as natural as kids in other neighborhoods transitioning from middle to high school! Let me say – knowing well that this might land me in big trouble with hardcore feminists – that when a community loses men, the entire neighborhood takes a hit, and the stability of the neighborhood is threatened. Indeed a generation of young people has emerged whose lives and very essence has been deeply marred by the prison industry. I do not have time to go into the psychological effects that these kids, required to go through security every time they need to see “daddy,” experience. There will definitely be anger, resentment, anxiety, and bewilderment if a child has to be searched each time he or she wants to see “daddy.” As young as these kids are (sometimes 5 or 6yrs), their only recourse is to mask their inner maelstrom. These kids are too young to express how they feel on the inside.

We need to recognize that there is a crisis. Rather than spend tax-payers money building more prison facilities, the best solution is to deal with the factors that lead to the offenses to begin with. This is “preventive” law enforcement, rather than the prevailing “retributive” law enforcement. If something is not done to rescue some of these young people, many who could have been saved will be damned. As many officers and mothers pointed out during the O.K. ceremony on Saturday, in most cases all it took was showing a young person that they were cared for. When some of these teenagers felt a sense of care and protection, all the anger, bitterness, resentment, and disdain for authority receded. Anger and resentment were replaced by determination and creativity. There is hope: with some effort, many of these teenagers can be rescued.

The purpose of this article is not to point the finger at any persons. We need to get beyond the blame game and acknowledge that there is a crisis. Yes, SOUND THE ALARM. Go and tell it on the mountains, over the hills, and in the country – there is an epidemic that is eating away a whole generation. Tell it with all your might. Tell it with all that you do and are. The prophet Isaiah says, “For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not rest” (Isaiah 62:1). For the sake of America’s future, we cannot keep silent. The fact is that we cannot turn this issue into a “black issue.” The task is greater than the black church alone can handle. The truth is that if we care about the future of America – not only of minorities – then we must raise the Homeland Alert level to the “Severe Imminent Threat, Red.” What is needed is an “emergency response.”

If there are any Christians reading this article, then let me end with a reminder of a simple but profound truth: We are all God’s children. And if we are all God’s children, then these kids are O.K. – Our Kids!

The Emergency Phone

Bethany has an emergency phone that members can call if they need a pastor at night or on weekends. It was my first time on the rotation and Mark handed me the phone, commenting that it rarely rings. I stuck it in my pocket without much thought.

Of course, at 1 AM that very first night I am startled awake by an unfamiliar ringing noise. I jump out of bed and answer, “Hello, this is Elaine Wilder.” The person on the other end explains that they are calling from Summerville Hospital, that “John Doe” has passed away and his wife wanted to notify the church. I said thank you and that someone would be there as soon as possible. I hung up the phone, shocked. The Bethany staff gave me the phone, but never told me what to do if it rang! I had never provided pastoral care surrounding a death before. Nerves were building. I knew I was headed to the hospital.

I turned on the light and opened my closet. What does a female pastor wear to the hospital in the middle of the night? The male pastors at Bethany would wear a clerical collar, but I don’t have one. I didn’t want to look too formal, but this wasn’t a casual situation either. I decided on a suitable outfit and jumped in my car.

As I was driving, I started to calm down. I began praying that God would use me to bring peace and comfort, and that God would give me the appropriate words.

I entered the ICU room where the body lay. John’s wife was there filling out paperwork. She recognized me as the summer intern and we embraced. She immediately told me that she was thankful for 36 wonderful years of marriage. I listened as she continued to share memories. We spoke of how we were grateful that John’s suffering had finally come to an end. Once the daughter arrived, we all gathered around John’s body to pray. We shared a lovely prayer together, offering thanksgiving for John’s life and prayers for John as he moved on to eternal life. I wrote down my phone number and left the family to have some private time together.

What a privilege it is to offer care to a family during a death. I have never felt so honored in my entire life. God truly does bless us with the words and gifts we need for our ministry. I am thankful for this, my first opportunity, to minister to a grieving family.

I have the on-call phone for the next two weeks. While I hope it never has to ring, I look forward to responding if it does.

teary-eyed prayers

With Matt (my supervisor/pastor) out of town, I'm having to go it alone this week with some of the home and hospital visits. It is by no means my favorite part working in the church, but it's the part that I most need to remind me that I am in fact working for the church, and not some sort of well-meaning self-improvement intellectual-aesthetic commune.

Today, though, a parishioner volunteered to go with me up to Forsyth Medical Center, where a member had recently been hospitalized. He heard about the situation when I did, he knew that I had never met the man in question, and he had planned on taking me to lunch anyway. Good divine timing, if you ask me.

It turned out that L.V. was in for what he thought was a second stroke--but turned out not to be (they're not really sure what it was). He was sitting up and reading the paper, so we were able to have a good conversation. At the end I offered to pray with him, and so I took his hand and prayed this terrible prayer--honestly, I thought, as I said amen, "Now that was a lame prayer! This guy's going to wonder what kind of idiots they're sending to the ministry these days." But then when I looked up L.V.'s eyes were wet.

I don't know if I'd say making an old man cry is always the mark of the Holy Spirit, but it certainly wasn't anything genius on my part. I was humbled. And so I have to say with John the Baptist, in today's (transferred) reading, "He must increase, and I must decrease."

Sunday, June 24, 2007

I'm a church hopper!

Since my placement is an agency rather than a church, I have no formal Sunday commitments. Each week I have been attending a different church in the Memphis area. It's been refreshing but strange at times to have no responsibilities in the services. I've also had the freedom to visit churches of different denominations--Disciples of Christ (Christian Church), Baptist, Full Gospel, and United Methodist. Over the next few weeks, I hope to attend services at United Church of Christ and Messianic Jewish churches.

I think it's always helpful to remember what it feels like to be a visitor to a congregation. I've really appreciated when pastors explain their understanding of various aspects of the service like Eucharist, offering, prayer, song, etc. Little things like signs, notes in the bulletin, and space in the service to greet one another really help a visitor feel welcome. One church even sent me a bag of cookies!

Even though all of the congregations I have visited have been very warm and welcoming, I have felt most "at home" at the United Methodist Church across the street from my placement. Dr. Scott Morris, the founder and executive director of the Church Health Center, is an associate pastor at St. John's UMC in addition to his administrative responsibilities and medical practice. As a dual-degree student in the UM ordination process, it's been great to have a model of how a pastor can be involved in the worship and life of a congregation as well as a faith-based non-profit organization.

preaching, take one

This morning I preached my first sermon (which I've posted here). I was excited about it up until the last moment, when, singing the hymn, I suddenly realized what I was about to do. Then I got a little nervous. Craziness.

Once I was in preaching-mode everything went well. I got some good comments, and a lot of the comments which basically indicate that people were happy to have gotten out on time. I'm hoping that I get some more critical assessment at some point.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Hard Lessons

Though I've only been here at STCC for 2 weeks, its feels more like 2 months! The pastor and congregation here really encouraged me to dive headlong into this new community, and that's exactly what I've done.


I have so many responsibilities, and the pastor here at STCC guides with a (self -proclaimed, mind you) "hands-off" approach. That basically means, whatever God leads me to do -- I am free to do. I am free to take complete charge of a project and shape it and mold it into the thing I feel led to create. This freedom also affects how I work with other members of the church -- I have complete freedom to organize workers, invite youth to activities, or even plan "training meetings" for upcoming events. Along with this approach -- as you may have guessed -- comes a GREAT deal of responsibility. A GREAT DEAL. I am in the midst of planning projects that won't get done unless I coordinate them and I have people who look to me for what to do and when to do it. I am not exaggerating when I say, I have never had so much responsibility placed on my shoulders. Never.


This is a new experience, and I'm not sure how I'm doing at it. I'll give you an example. One of my main tasks this summer is to plan, from the ground up, a 4-day Youth Revival. I never realized that planning such an event had so many ins and outs! There's so much to be considered. A normal day of planning consists of, first, finding entertainment for the revival (this involves a great deal of networking and LOTS of telephone calls). I've been trying to locate several Gospel Rappers and invite them to perform. I've also been in talks with a Christian Comedian and a Christian R&B singer. Let's not even talk about drawing up contracts and setting prices. Second, planning involves going to different businesses in Charlotte and asking for donations -- paper products, food, fliers -- anything that might assist in serving the youth. Third, it involves creating publicity for the event -- composing fliers, putting an ad in the newspaper, booking a slot on local radio stations, etc. Fourth, it involves contacting local churches and inviting them to join us during the revival, and encouraging them to share their gifts during that time as well. Next, there's going back and forth with choosing a theme. What message does God have for the youth? What theme does He want the revival to center around? Also, workshop topics and leaders have to be selected, the menu finalized, the needed funds raised/located, and on and on!


And, all this is on top of daily ministry activities like leading Bible study, serving at Trinity's Table which is a free-meal program offered twice a week, preparing sermons, serving at SOULED OUT which takes place every Friday night from 6-8 as a fun place for youth in the community to come and chill, pastoral care of the congregation, and personal times of prayer and fasting.


The honest truth is, I usually totter between two extremes during the day. Sometimes I remind myself to stand firm on God's Word and I know, without a doubt, that God has everything under control, and I stand confident that God would not have called me here if He wasn't going to challenge me and grow me. And other times, I look around and simply feel like I'm about to have a panic attack.


STCC is a pilot project that was started by the Western North Carolina United Methodist Conference, as an exploration into innercity and urban ministry. Its not a HUGE ministry, and the STCC building isn't particularly high-tech or fancy. There are only 1 or 2 people on full-time clerical staff, and money, of course, is always an issue. Nevertheless, the ministry is doing so much. God has been so good and has truly moved in the midst of STCC. STCC understands the communities that surround it (housing developments), and it uses that understanding to "meet...people where they are" (that's the church's motto). However, its the kind of ministry where when a good thing happens, everyone knows without a doubt that it was only by God's grace. Everyone realizes that though it seemed impossible, and there wasn't enough money, and there weren't enough volunteers, and there were way too many 6-12 year olds running around, and there wasn't enough food to go around...even though it seemed impossible....God did showed up and showed out anyway. Because we are constantly reminded of how little we have in terms of resources, we are constantly reminded of how much we need God.


As I serve here at STCC and I am stretched in ways I've never been stretched before, and stretched in ways that honestly I do not like to be stretched -- I am reminded of how God alone is abundant. Dr. Amy Laura Hall, in her Christian Ethics class, reminded us that Christ is abundant. Even when resources are not -- Christ is and always will be. I am worn so thin, and I even run out at times, and sometimes I'm tempted to complain, give up, cry, and scream. That's when I remember that our work here at STCC exists and continues only by God's grace. We are only vessels. This is a lesson I struggle, on a daily basis, to remember.


Nevertheless......God is faithful, and every now and then He places people or events in my path to remind me of this lesson. This past week, my reminder came in the form of "Sweating in the Spirit!" "Sweating in the Spirit" is an aerobics DVD. Every Monday and Thursday, the women of the church come together (dressed in t-shirts, shorts, and sneakers), pop in the DVD, and.....sweat in the Spirit! The aerobics class is a FUN way for the women to spend time together, and to remind one another about the importance of physical health. As I stood there exercising, laughing, and dancing with my sisters in Christ, I was reminded of the beauty of community and I was encouraged to keep on keepin' on. And that's exactly what I'll do.